Messy

I once attended a presentation titled, I’m a mess, You’re a mess, That’s why we need a Messiah. I don’t fully remember the content since it was over ten years ago, but somehow the title stuck. I revisit it in my mind sometimes and it popped into view like a thought bubble this morning as I sat down to type. I realized I hadn’t written in a while. I’d said I was going to write daily this year. I’ve mostly been doing that, but it’s been deeply personal and hidden in the pages of my journal smeared with ink and tears. I haven’t been posting everyday like I’d thought.

As I looked at the date of my last post, I realized it’s been a whole month since I’ve posted.

Why?

It can be summed up into one sentence. My life is messy.

I often find myself in places where I feel like the messiest person in the room. I’m trying to tuck it in. Pretty it up. Hide it. Decorate it. Accessorize it. (I’ve never been good with wardrobe accessories so I can’t seem to accessorize my troubles either.)

But recently, I’ve tried a different approach — Talking about it. This might seem counterintuitive in a culture where we value images. However, I’m finding that everyone has messy parts of their lives. I’ve known this a general idea, but I’ve been hearing stories — lots of stories — as I’ve opened up about what haunts me. The characters are different. Different genres are on display. But the messiness is woven through each one. Hurt. Neglect. Trauma. Brokenness.

I’m a mess. You’re a mess. That’s why we need a Messiah.

Something has felt freeing about talking about it. It is being revealed piece by piece and being brought into the light. That’s where healing happens. In the light. I feel less alone. Seen. Heard. Understood. All because brave souls will share their stories when I tell mine. Instead of hiding, there’s healing. Instead of keep up false images, truth is shared and masks removed. (Sometimes mascara is removed too when the tears flow.) In each story shared with me, I walk away thinking more highly of the person than before. I see their bravery. I see their kindness. I see beauty. All because we had the courage to share the messy parts.

Yes, we need a messiah and we should absolutely seek him in our journey to healing. But I also believe that he wants us in community. Showing up as our real selves. Genuine. True. Andm