The Gift of Grief

In a recent conversation with a bereaved dad, he shared an idea he and his wife heard that landed with different reactions. Grief had been labeled a gift in a podcast they’d heard. One of them agreed with the idea that grief is a gift and the other didn’t.

It prompted some pondering for me.  What do I think about that statement?  Dare I say grief is a gift?

I’ve decided that grief is a gift indeed.  Before you beg to differ, I hope you’ll hear me out.

I can emphatically say the death of a child is NOT a gift. But I believe that the grief that follows is. The reasons are many.

I’ve come to view grief as a reminder of my capacity to love. Yes, it’s painful and messy. But, it’s all I have left of my daughter. My love for her didn’t die when she did and grief is the container for that love and it’s how I express that love. Grief has become a quiet companion over time, no longer unruly and loud. It helps me experience greater joy because I know the deepest of sorrows in comparison. It holds space for the memory of my daughter, never to be forgotten. And grief has grown my capacity in so many other areas of life, creating more understanding and empathy for those who are hurting. I absolutely despise the circumstances that thrust me into grief, but my grief has become a gift for which I’m forever grateful.

What about you? Do you view grief as a gift?